The Lord Has Made Me Malleable!

It was another great start for the New Year with our return to our second family, the Makati Feast Legaspi which we haven't been to for so many months, even before the Christmas break.

Marti and I tagged along my nephew Asti whom the Feasters last saw when he was just a few months old and when they saw him already walking and in jeans, Asti's favorite Feasters Bro. Ed and Bro. Monty rushed to hug him. This is why I love coming here, you're always warmly welcomed, even warmer than attending a family reunion. Well, at least for me it feels that way. 

Tita Eva was there, with her bright smile and cozy hugs I always look forward to. Saw my Care Group (CG) mates Jen and Gail whom I haven't seen for awhile. Talked to Bro. Monty about the new CG of Separated Brothers and promised to compare notes later on how we could serve more brothers and sisters in our respective CGs.

Brother Randy's talk on "Solutions" was, as always, phenomenal. Let me share with you the notes of the talk I took down:

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I Am Home

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More than a year ago, I never would have thought I would be in this place, this place where God has led me to out of the stormy desert of my life.

It's been a year since my son Marti and I joined the Makati Feast and it wasn't an easy journey, filled with growth pains and despite the miraculous turnabout that God blessed my life with through the Feast, I would still sometimes find myself asking why do I have to be there weekly. I've always had an insecurity over belonging so when I begin to feel left out in a place or event, I also start doubting my presence there. And that self-consciousness made our first few months attending the Feast a mighty struggle for me especially when I knew no one there. Marti seemed to fit right away, finding his place at the Kids' Ministry which made me more nervous sitting  alone in a room full of strangers for an hour or so.

But it's amazing how God would simply not let me be disheartened because when I seem to be in those insecure moments, I would feel His encouragement through the warmth and sincerity of the people of the Makati Feast. 

The first step was the hardest but was worth it: I decided to show up every week. In all honesty, my initial intention in coming to the Feast was based on integrity (I always, always keep my promises even if it's just made to myself) and little else. And then I met Tita Eva Relova and everything started to change. 

One night while buying "Feel God, Feel Good" t-shirts for me and Marti, Tita Eva began to talk to me and finding out I was a solo mom, she encouraged me to join the Solo Parents Caring Group. She promised to have the CG Heads contact me for the membership details. Boosted by Tita Eva's concern, I decided to say yes. 

The following week, entering the doors of the AIM Conference Center, a cool-looking dude called out my name "Millicent!" as if we've known each other for so long. It was Brother Monty Mendigoria, he was the first Feaster to add me up in Facebook and to welcome me he asked his wife Sister Yolly to give me a free CD of the Feast's worship songs. It was such a kind gesture from someone I only met on that day.

In the weeks that followed, I came to know Brother Noli Benavent in one of the icebreaker activities then Sister Faye Dondiego who was the second one to add me up in Facebook. The CG Cycle began and I met our CG Head Sister Gail Franco and later Brother Jay San Luis. Becoming a part of MasiPag (Married Individuals and  Single Parents Caring Group) and finding friends among all my CG mates has blessed me a hundredfold---this is a group where we comforted each other in our unique situation as parents and as individuals. The Sunday Feast started and I was warmly welcomed with a hug by Sister Anne Relova whom I had no idea knew me at all.

The last quarter of 2011 was the toughest time for me as a Feaster. The Lord was calling me to participate more in His Ministry and it was such a tall order at a time when I was swamped with financial and family problems. I had heard great things about the Kerygma Conference and after hesitating for a long time, I bought my ticket just 1 day before the event. Of course, I hesitated,  I was going to be alone again in a room of strangers and this time for an entire day! But still I went and turned out God was waiting to bless me more with not just the phenomenal speakers but more with the other solo parent Feasters I came to know and share stories with. 

But my most trying part of that year was at the Makati Feast Christmas party. I had looked forward to this because Marti was one of the 3 Kings in the Nativity Scene and yet on that night feelings of being left out was so overwhelming, I sulked on my chair the whole night without talking to anyone and not even partook in the buffet dinner. I began to question myself again why do I even have to show up here when I still feel alone after all that's  happened? And as I was about to leave before the program was over, a person beside me who also came alone began to talk to me. Her name was Sister Lydia, a widow (another solo parent!) and who was so concerned that I hadn't eaten at all, offered to get me food! I thanked her and politely declined but deep inside I was beaming that the Lord is not only faithful to those who are faithful to Him but also relentless in helping those who have committed to Him.

A year later, here I am: a CG Head apprentice and just signed up to serve in the Set Design Ministry. From someone who was in despair and completely clueless when I came through the doors of the AIM Conference Center for my first Makati Feast, I am now basking in the infinite grace of the Lord who had brought me to a place where my son and I found another family and feel we truly belong--- 

I AM HOME!

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Solo, Not Single

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Entering the PICC building, I was quite nervous. I bought my Kerygma Conference 2011 ticket only a day before, still not sure if I should attend until the last minute. I was thinking, I could have spent the day doing my usual chores but with my son Marti’s prodding, who even arranged his schedule with his Dad so I could have a free day, I decided to go and overcome my usual nervousness when attending an event on my own.

The moment I stepped into Meeting Room 11, I knew I was meant to be there on that day. I saw the same person who sent me the e-mail that changed my life forever! It was Rhoda, my former officemate who e-mailed me one of Bro. Bo’s newsletters which started me on my journey to self-awareness and renewed faith in God. After the niceties and warm hug, I found out that she was part of the Media committee of the KCon and I told her that it was because of her that I was there. She seemed to beam at that but I was more delighted because of this first sign that God gave to reassure me.

Bro. Rex’s worship was simply phenomenal! When he declared that solo parents are blessed with God as our partner and that He would never abandon us, never neglect, never disappoint us, the tears just started to flow. The best line he imparted was “Your setback is a set-up for a greater comeback!”

The talks were all enlightening and informative. The lessons that stuck to me were the ones of Michelle Aglinay and of Bro. Hermie and Sister Reng. Really liked Michelle’s advice on revealing the truth to the children the status of their parents’ relationship as early as possible. I can attest to this as Marti grew up to be emotionally healthy despite not having complete parents. But my favorite talk was that of Bro. Hermie and Sister Reng about remarriage and stepfamily. I guess most of the solo parents still aim to remarry someday that’s why a lot were attentive to this talk, not to mention the funny stories of Bro. Hermie and Sister Reng. But what affected me most from their sharing was the grief process of Bro. Hermie’s and his family when his first wife passed away, that although he was already healed from his grief and ready to get married again, his daughter was not and that they respected the children’s feelings so much, they were willing to wait until everybody, especially the children, were ready for this new relationship. I realized then that despite the 9 years since my Mom died, my sister and I were still grieving but unfortunately our Dad couldn’t wait for us to heal before he got married again, or at least acknowledge our mourning. Through this talk, I became aware of my feelings of grief and could probably start to fully heal from thereon.

But the most amazing experience I had on that day was not only the talks but with the people I met there despite my early nervousness:

Rhoda, the person who shared a simple e-mail of Bro. Bo’s newsletter and started me on this spiritual journey.

Sister Faye, 20 years old and 8 months pregnant, who reminded me of the courage I had to pull up against all odds when I decided to become a solo parent.

Sister Bheng, a single mom to a 15 year old son, who taught me to live life one day at a time and give myself a chance to be happy, that it was ok to go on dates and even have a relationship as long as you are upfront about it to your child.

Sister Sally, a widow and mother to 3 lovely daughters, who showed me the true meaning of service; that even if dozens of people ask you to serve, it is ultimately yourself who can decide to commit to serve.

The Feast has taught me to be hopeful and renewed my love for God but the Kerygma Conference opened my eyes to the abundance of blessings that God can and will shower you with as long as you open your arms and your heart to Him.

I’ll definitely be back next year and hopefully bring more people to this marvelous experience! More power to Bro. Bo Sanchez and to the Light of Jesus Family!

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