A New Path

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Wow, haven't been here in awhile... almost a year! But it's only because I have been led to a new path. A path that used to be elusive but is now in view and as clear as a summer's day. A path that led to Angelo.

Yes, after 14 years I am now in a new relationship and it's with someone I least expected. You see I've known Angelo for over 25 years. He was my classmate in Grade 4 at St. Paul Makati. I couldn't even recall if we spoke during those times but after our grade school reunion in 2008, we became good friends. We only saw each other a few times since then but kept in touch through emails, text messages and social networks especially during tough times which we as single parents almost always had. I was just happy to offer advice to him and even invited him to MaSiPaG. But by 2013, our friendship unexpectedly changed into something more. And the rest, should I say, is history. 

I would like to share something I wrote at that time when I was discerning about whether or not to go into a relationship with Angelo. I hope it would somehow inspire and give hope especially to single parents who have been hurt or are still in pain. Believe that the Lord is planning something phenomenal that would turn your tears and pain to laughter and love!

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Running on Empty

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A few weeks back, I got a PM via Facebook from a school friend whom I haven't seen since we graduated years ago (won't say here what year to protect her identity. And my age...LOL). She asked how I was coping with the loneliness that comes from being a single mom, since she was one herself.


The first thing that came into my mind was "I was?" Well, of course she only knew of the Milli who posted usually positive, grateful and inspirational messages on my wall but not the person who lately cries herself to sleep, staring at the empty space on the other half of my bed and wondering about the basketball team that should have been my children--- a dream I've had since I was a little girl growing up with only one sibling. Of course, the trooper that I was, I shared with her how through prayer, renewal of Faith and having a support group helps a lot. I felt like a hack. 

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100 Things You Ought To Know about Me

"The unexamined life is not worth living." ~ Socrates

That's probably the quote from high school that stuck with me the most. So at 38 today, I decided to go back on my life and look if I've examined my life well enough and found the journey quite liberating. 

I thought of sharing here what I found out about myself in the hopes that you'll get an idea of who I am or if you already know me, at least to understand me better. Fair warning, if you get offended by some of the facts I reveal here, I won't be sorry :)

Read on...


1. I was at my happiest when I was pregnant with Marti. 

me and my Marti

2. Kindness is always better.

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Risking Heartaches

Was watching Harry Potter Deathly Hollows part 2 and as usual was crying at the part where all the people who loved Harry and died were talking to him. Made me think of the risk of heartaches when you love especially because of the loss of a loved one. 

Then a question popped in my head, asking me if this is the risk I was willing to take in the search for love? Am I still willing to risk all this pain just to be with my one true love? Then the answer came naturally: "Yes! My heart had been broken so many times, so what's another one? As they say whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

Tough question. 

Tougher Answer. 

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Your children are not your children

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Just wanted to share this from the book I'm currently reading:


Love is Separateness


Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you they belong not to you.


You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but not seek them to be like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.


You are the bow from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrow may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

- Kahlil Gibran,
  The Prophet


Funny how that line "You may strive to be like them, but not seek them to be like you" reminded me of my daily prayers for my son Marti that he grow up to be better than his parents. And I'm hoping that I'm actually doing good in raising him a much wiser and kinder person than I ever was when I was his age.

Would recommend reading this book, "The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck. It may be an old book but the wisdom you can take from its pages are so relevant today and eye-opening especially to us parents.

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Wise Advice from my Son

Just turned 35 last Sunday, 11 April 2010 and my son asked me what was my birthday wish. Told him that my wish was to spend another 35 years of my life with him and hopefully soon with my better half.

Like most kids with single parents, Marti is hopeful that his Papa and I would eventually end up together. Since I've always been honest with my son I explained that that may not come true because his Papa got married a long time ago, even though  he insists that his Papa is also now single (have no idea what that really means). I explained further that his Mama is not getting any younger so I should settle down soon for him to have a complete family and the siblings he had always wanted.

What really touched me was Marti's advice on how I can get my wish. He said, "Mama, didn't you say when God closes the door, He opens a window? Maybe you need to close a door in your life so that God can open a window." Deep words for a 10-year old. Hmmmm, Marti really made me think hard about this stage in my life. So now I'm trying to find that "door" to close so that I could finally receive the "window" that God has planned for me and my son.

Have a blessed day!

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