A New Path

https://www.flickr.com/photos/15636379@N00/8026026425

Wow, haven't been here in awhile... almost a year! But it's only because I have been led to a new path. A path that used to be elusive but is now in view and as clear as a summer's day. A path that led to Angelo.

Yes, after 14 years I am now in a new relationship and it's with someone I least expected. You see I've known Angelo for over 25 years. He was my classmate in Grade 4 at St. Paul Makati. I couldn't even recall if we spoke during those times but after our grade school reunion in 2008, we became good friends. We only saw each other a few times since then but kept in touch through emails, text messages and social networks especially during tough times which we as single parents almost always had. I was just happy to offer advice to him and even invited him to MaSiPaG. But by 2013, our friendship unexpectedly changed into something more. And the rest, should I say, is history. 

I would like to share something I wrote at that time when I was discerning about whether or not to go into a relationship with Angelo. I hope it would somehow inspire and give hope especially to single parents who have been hurt or are still in pain. Believe that the Lord is planning something phenomenal that would turn your tears and pain to laughter and love!

October 30, 2013

Finally deciding to go into this relationship was one of the most difficult choices I had to make recently.

I considered everything: my feelings, his unconditional love, Marti, my family, his family and all of these seemed to have fallen into place to pave the way for us to be together. And yet there's one con that outweighed all the pros in having this relationship: he's separated but technically still married. Was I willing to be committed to someone whose future is held back by the past?

And out of all the conflicting advices I gathered from friends and family, only one voice really mattered, the voice that always told the truth no matter how scary it may sound. I kept asking Him to help me decide but I already knew the answer He had always given me in all the trials in my life: 

MAKE THE CHOICE. 

And I did. I told the Lord that Angelo has become an important part of my life and this is something I wanted, something I had to do. And His answer was this: "then I will see you through it."

I began to cry. Because it was in those words where I felt perfect love. The world was saying that this is wrong. But the Lord was saying, "just make the choice and I will take care of the rest, just be assured that everything will turn out for the best because I will be with you all the way". 

And it's there I realized this is not really between me and Angelo; it's between me and Him. That the Lord sent Angelo into my life to show me that I do deserve happiness and to be loved. That a life lived in paying for my sins was not what He meant for me rather a life that is blessed.

This is a love story between me and Jesus. And the choices I make while in this relationship are choices that would bring me closer to Him through this person He sent into my life. If I choose to do things that would lead me and Angelo astray then this relationship truly is a sinful one and would break the bond between me and the Lord which I have worked on, which He and I have worked on for so long. But if this relationship exists for me to help Angelo and I heal from our pasts and learn the beauty of forgiveness and unconditional love then I would've chosen to prosper and deepen my relationship with the Lord. Not just mine but also Angelo' s and hopefully our story would be one that would be a testament to the mercy, generosity and the awe-inspiring love of God.

Angelo, Marti and me