"Our Hearts Are Broken"

Woke up to devastating news about another senseless massacre in the US where around 25 victims, mostly ages 5-10 years old were shot by a disturbed young man.

I saw President Obama's address to the nation about the recent tragedy in Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut and felt his pain and cried with him as he delivered the sad news to the country.

When President Obama said that these children were deprived of "birthdays, graduations, weddings and kids of their own", my heart began to break as he had said, "our hearts are broken today". Here I was so worried about not being able to give a fancy Christmas gift to my son this year due to my lack of finances when at that part of the world, those parents weren't even going to have a Christmas ever with their children who were taken away from them so suddenly.

At Marti's 4th birthday

As the President ended his speech saying that he would be going home that night and hugging his children a little tighter, I hugged my son Marti now 13 years old and thought of him when he was about the age of those victims, overwhelming me with gratitude to the Lord for all these years that I am able to hug Marti, celebrate every occasion with him and look forward to graduations, his wedding and to my grandchildren. 

Recent photo with my son Marti

I write this post for the victims, their family, as well as to the survivors and pray for their comfort and healing at this very sad and difficult time. 

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Mommyla and Ima: What I Inherited From My Grandmothers

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Was listening to one of Bro. Bo Sanchez's recorded preaching on "Know When To Quit", talking about path and purpose when I found myself thinking about my grandmothers Mommyla and Ima and the paths they have each taken in their lives.

Mommyla

Mommyla and me at 4 months old

Mommyla is my mom's mother and my sister and other cousins grew up living with her in her house. We used to be so terrified of Mommyla, whose intense temper matched that lovely face! But as the years went by and hearing her story during the Japanese occupation of Manila in the 40s, I began to understand and love her more.

Mommyla comes from a brood of sisters, the 2nd to the oldest with their only brother dying as a young soldier during the war. My great grandfather died before the war broke out, leaving my great grandma, Lola Canora with six children the youngest being an infant. Their eldest, Auntie Toyang was studying to be a teacher and recently got married so the task of working for a living was passed on to Mommyla at the age of 15. Mommyla would sell in the marketplace everyday all sorts of food items, at the same time trying to ward off suitors. She even risked her life, working for the cause of the Filipino guerrillas by gathering empty shrapnel shells for them. And during the Japanese massacre, she and a male cousin had to transport their entire family by pushing them in a "kariton" (wooden cart) from Guadalupe to Antipolo, with Mommyla nursing a bayonet wound. Mommyla was the only one among her sisters who wasn't able to finish her studies, sacrificing her education to feed her family. But all of that paid off when after the war, she and my grandfather Daddylo lived a blessed, well-off life and she didn't have to work a single day thereafter. 

Mommyla's life is the living example of Matthew 6:33, "Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be given to you as well." Mommyla had a struggling early life and later on an emotionally-hounding one when she had to suffer the passing away of Daddylo, of her eldest Daddy Boy and then her youngest, my Mom. But all of these she endured with an ever intensifying faith in God. She raised all of us with a strong faith in the Lord, always reminding us that no matter how great the trial in your life, God will see you through it.  

Ima

Ima and Tatay

Ima was my Dad's mom and although I didn't spend that much time with her while I was growing up, we became closer during the last few years of her life especially when I became a mother myself. 

Ima was just as lovely as Mommyla but hers was more of a quiet beauty. Growing up, I knew her as being demure and submissive, very motherly which I think, in hindsight, characteristics my Mom chose to emulate as a mother and as a wife. 

Ima was a teacher who decided to become a full-time housewife like most of the married women in the time of the second World War. One time when my Dad was boasting as usual to me and my cousins that he was the favorite child, Ima told a story of how she braved a tornado after the war, 6-months pregnant and tugging along her eldest daughter Auntie Ising and my Dad who were both toddlers. Tatay was away so Ima had to save herself and her children and as they were running for shelter, my Dad was throwing a tantrum and crying really loud. Ima shouted, "tumigil ka kungdi iiwanan kita (stop it or I'll leave you here!)" My cousins and I laughed so hard as my Dad was put in his rightful place by his mother!

Ima and Tatay started a family with almost nothing, having newly moved to Manila from Tarlac. As Tatay worked as an electrician, it was Ima who had the entrepreneurial spirit and her chicharon was what made their family of six children get by. Before laundry services even became a popular business venture, Ima had already laundry contracts back in the early 80s with Vicks and Procter and Gamble when their production plants were still in Manila. 

I remembered when I became a solo parent, Ima would often tell me to get married someday, reminding me that I was not meant to live my life only as a mother. Was surprised with her advice, coming from someone who was known to be a dedicated mother. Ima explained that she didn't want me to end up like her older sister who became a widow at 24, never remarried and in her old age became estranged from her only son who lived abroad. I was touched by Ima's hopes for me that I would be with someone whom I love and be with me in old age. 

In the first few years after my Mom died and we had to move out of Mommyla's house, we spent our New Year's Eve at Tatay and Ima's house for the first time. I was so depressed back then, missing my Mom and fantastic New Year's celebrations at Mommyla's house, that I ended up with an intense flu, spending the entire evening in Ima's bedroom while the rest of the family celebrated outside the house. I pretended to sleep so that relatives would stop asking me if I were okay every five minutes but then I heard Ima come in and lie down beside me and stayed there, patting my back as if she was putting a baby to sleep. I don't think she knew because my back was turned to her but I was crying the whole time, feeling her love and understanding without words and with just a simple gesture. I may not have grown up close to Ima but she let me know how much she loved me in that last New Year we spent together. Ima passed away in May of the following year, barely 6 months after Tatay died.


Looking back and remembering the lives that these fascinating women led, can't help but think that I owe them both the traits which makes me a better person, better mother and better woman now: Mommyla's unwavering faith, Ima's unfailing love and both their fierce perseverance for their families. These are indeed the inheritance that no amount of money or jewelry could surpass. 

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God Knows

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While channel surfing, I caught the tail end of a Jimmy Stewart film entitled, The Mortal Storm, and heard this beautiful line: 

“Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown.”

And he replied:

“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God. That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way.”

So I went into the web to look for the complete text and found out it was from a poem by Minnie Louise Haskins, a noted British academic on sociology and economics.

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God's Grace Overcame My Crisis of Faith

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I never thought it would happen to me, but it did. I went through a crisis of faith for the past two weeks which left me physically weak and spiritually broken.

Just a few months ago, I had been courageous and optimistic about the turn of events in my life: quitting my 7-year desk job and ridding myself of unnecessary stress, becoming completely financially independent by going full-time on oDesk to

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Exorcism: Tangible Sign of Jesus' Victory

Spiritual Warfare: Talk on Exorcism 

by Fr. Jose Francisco Syquia,JCS of the 

Office of Exorcism, Archdiocese of Manila

National Shrine of the Sacred Heart
September 28, 2012

Spiritual Warfare presentation of Fr. Jose C. Syquia

"Our struggle is not against human foes but against cosmic powers"
- St. Paul

There is an active entity acting on our weaknesses.

"Our enemy may also be compared in his manner of acting to a false lover. He seeks to remain hidden and does not want to be discovered."

- St. Ignatius of Loyola 

Christ himself encountered the devil. Why not us?

We can never understand man unless we also understand the Devil, evil and the redemption. 

Demonology grants us true appreciation of what God has done to us. Helps us better develop our Christian identity. 

Sin brings disorder to the faculties which gives the demons more power over us. The Devil can work on your emotions.

Exorcism is a tangible sign of Jesus' victory on the Cross over the powers of darkness. Even if the devil has been conquered by Christ he can still be active because he can only be thrown back to hell for all eternity in the final judgment, in Christ's second coming.

As Christians we have power over evil spirits.

Fr. Syquia

In the Gospels, Jesus desires that His exorcisms are public unlike His other miracles.

Demons cannot live where Jesus is. As Christians we are more targeted by the Devil because we have a direct line to God.

Three Openings to Extraordinary Demonic Attack

Notes from the Vatican:

• When Christianity is forgotten, the vacuum is filled with the occult. Curses come from the power of the evil spirits and not from the power of the magician

• The Church betrays itself when it denies its power of exorcism. It is a work of charity.

• Occult practitioners take advantage of the sufferings of other people when they are vulnerable.

• Uncertainty in life and in loss of faith makes a person turn to occultism

• What is possession?  Temporary substitution of the self-awareness of the person. Discernment is important in healing/ exorcism

• Heavy metal music is music consecrated to Satan: 

       78% of teens have contact with satanism (44% through music)

• Satan does not subdue Satan so he only subdues a weaker demon and remains in that person. 

Diagnostic Procedure

Angels were very visible during the Old Testament because they were bound up with the preparation of the coming of the Messiah. It is their mission to lead the pagan peoples to God. But the devil corrupted this by making men worship these angels thus resorting to polytheism.

Religions of old resorted to idolatry and polytheism except Israel who believed in one God because their guardian was St. Michael the angel who battled and won against the devil. 


Man experiences God through His conscience and, through divine intervention, is led to faith


Occultism, folk Catholicism leads to blocking of blessings. 

There is no middle power, if you use powers other than that of God then you are using that of the Devil. You have to be very discerning. 

"He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters."

- Matthew 12:30

There are no good spirits other than the angels. All else is the Devil.


The Sacramentals by which to fight against and protect us from demonic attacks:

Holy Water

Exorcized/ Holy Oil

Blessed Incense

Exorcised Salt and Holy Relics

Imagination can be read by the devil because it is not a spiritual faculty. Also memories and emotions. But he has no access to the intellect and the heart because only God can read the mind and the heart of man. The devil victimizes those who rely on their selves and not on God.

"We know that anyone born of God does not continue to sin; the one who was born of God keeps him safe, and the evil one cannot harm him. We know that we are children of God, and that the whole world is under the control of the evil one. We know also that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know him who is true. And we are in him who is true—even in his Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.

Dear children, keep yourselves from idols."

- 1 John 5:18-21

You don't need to have your 3rd eye opened to be holy. Occultism goes against the 1st Commandment: dealing with psychic abilities and getting in touch with the spirit world. 

In an exorcism it is between God and the victim. The exorcist is only the instrument. If a person goes back to God he may be tempted again but can never be oppressed. 

The only power the devil can cause is fear! They cannot even kill us. There is nothing outside the providence of God!

Know your enemy then know your authority over them which Christ has given us. 

"When Jesus had called the Twelve together, he gave them power and authority to drive out all demons and to cure diseases, and he sent them out to preach the kingdom of God and to heal the sick." 

St. Therese of Lisieux

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"Faith, Without Works, Is Dead"

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Missing the Makati Feast for a week, felt like a month. The weekly Catholic prayer meeting has become so much a part of my and my son's life that the community seems more like an extended family for us. And it never fails that when I am at a low point, it is through the Feast where I hear God's message to me the loudest. 

A week ago, I blogged about being spiritually weak amid my

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It's Just Material

Image: Papers and Collected Material in the Library of Carl Linnaeus Found on flickrcc.net in affiliation with Art.com 

"It's just material!"

Whenever I feel anxiety overcoming me, thinking about the low point of where my life is right now, I'd say those words to myself. 


Yup, my pains and struggles are only materials for my story which God is currently writing; a story that He will use to show that He is bigger than any problem and that His Grace is enough.

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

~1 Peter 5:10 

This realization came to me while listening to Bro. Bo Sanchez's old talks which I've saved up as an mp3 in my Ipod. Every time I feel spiritually weak, I'd play Bro. Bo's talks and I'd feel nourished every single time. Bro. Bo's stories of triumphs all began with trials and strife:

- Bro. Bo started out as a penniless preacher

- Sylvester Stallone was an actor nobody wanted

- Manny Pacquiao came from a very poor, single-parent family

- Gary Valenciano has been a diabetic since he was 14

And many others who are now successful and whose stories filled with "material" they can now share to bless many others through hope and faith in the Lord. 

So when you feel drained and stressed-out, look around you, more importantly look within you. Isn't your life filled with "material" you overcame, eventually strengthened you, and can now look back on with certainty that these happened for a purpose, the Divine purpose which God has planned for you even before you were born?

Next time you find yourself neck-deep in problems, say this to yourself:

"It's just material for the great story my life is about to become!"

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