"Faith, Without Works, Is Dead"

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Missing the Makati Feast for a week, felt like a month. The weekly Catholic prayer meeting has become so much a part of my and my son's life that the community seems more like an extended family for us. And it never fails that when I am at a low point, it is through the Feast where I hear God's message to me the loudest. 

A week ago, I blogged about being spiritually weak amid my

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It's Just Material

Image: Papers and Collected Material in the Library of Carl Linnaeus Found on flickrcc.net in affiliation with Art.com 

"It's just material!"

Whenever I feel anxiety overcoming me, thinking about the low point of where my life is right now, I'd say those words to myself. 


Yup, my pains and struggles are only materials for my story which God is currently writing; a story that He will use to show that He is bigger than any problem and that His Grace is enough.

"And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you."

~1 Peter 5:10 

This realization came to me while listening to Bro. Bo Sanchez's old talks which I've saved up as an mp3 in my Ipod. Every time I feel spiritually weak, I'd play Bro. Bo's talks and I'd feel nourished every single time. Bro. Bo's stories of triumphs all began with trials and strife:

- Bro. Bo started out as a penniless preacher

- Sylvester Stallone was an actor nobody wanted

- Manny Pacquiao came from a very poor, single-parent family

- Gary Valenciano has been a diabetic since he was 14

And many others who are now successful and whose stories filled with "material" they can now share to bless many others through hope and faith in the Lord. 

So when you feel drained and stressed-out, look around you, more importantly look within you. Isn't your life filled with "material" you overcame, eventually strengthened you, and can now look back on with certainty that these happened for a purpose, the Divine purpose which God has planned for you even before you were born?

Next time you find yourself neck-deep in problems, say this to yourself:

"It's just material for the great story my life is about to become!"

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When God Pushes You To The Edge...

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On the edge of a cliff.

Yup, that's how I felt this morning. At the edge, at a loss, not knowing where else to go. Actually, that's how I've been feeling for the last two months ever since I gave up my 7-year desk job and decided to take control of my life instead of depending my life on other people.

But there are days when I really reach a point when I question my decision back then, days like these when some emergencies happen and my bank account is almost depleted. And yet I could never shake off

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Believe In Yourself

Katherine McPhee sings "Don't Forget Me" in the Season 1 ender of Smash

Even toughies have tough times...

Whenever I feel down (yes, I do have those moments even if it seems I'm a tough cookie), I've taken to the habit of coaching myself back to emotional health :) Sounds lonely, I know, but I was never a fan of depending my happiness on someone else.

Anyway, I'd just like to share my latest picker-upper: Smash! 

"Smash" is a musical drama that celebrates the beauty and heartbreak of the Broadway theater as it follows a cross section of dreamers and schemers who all have one common desire - to be a "Smash." The series centers on a desire to create a Broadway musical based on the life of Marilyn Monroe

Getting addicted to this new TV show, made me read about the life of Marilyn Monroe

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Handwritten

Taken from Pablo Neruda's 100 Love Sonnets

Been going through a myriad of emotions for several weeks now with all the big changes in my life and today, I felt like reawakening my romantic side which has been dormant for the past 12 years. Being a solo mom with double the hard work, I have taken for granted that part of me which has inspired so much of my creativity throughout my life from my designing to my writing to my handicrafts. 

Browsing through love poetry on the net, I came upon this beautiful piece from Pablo Neruda's 100 Love Sonnets:

I love you without knowing how, or when or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.

It was so beautiful that it felt like it was sacrilegious to merely reading it on the screen, that somehow the words called out to me that they had to be handwritten and so I did as you can see on the photo above. 

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Project Author 1.2: One Step Closer to My Dream of Becoming a Published Author

"Serendipitous"

Yup, as Anna put it, that's how I would describe my day at Project Author 1.2.

First off, a chunk of my solo parent budget for the month was originally meant for a web design workshop which was cancelled a few days ago due to low enrollment so I decided to attend the Project Author seminar instead. Thanks to Juliet of Salt and Light Ventures, she e-mailed me that I could pay at the event.

Entering the function room of AIM, saw that most of the attendees looked like seasoned individuals and I felt that nervousness again whenever I'm in a room full of strangers. Thankfully, I heard someone call out my name from across the room: it was Anna Santos, author of fab solo mom journal Happy Even After! I felt relieved that I knew someone there and more so it was Anna who was our MasiPag Care Group's special guest just a few days ago! We excitedly shared our book plans and I promised to talk to her more after the seminar.

The seminar started with Mr. Ardy Roberto sharing his story on how he and his wife Tingting founded Salt and Light and it was simply awe-inspiring. Talk about seeing every cloud's silver lining! Imagine one of his best-sellers "Ang Perang Hindi Bitin" was written during a horrible parasitic attack of the skin.

Ardy asked all the participants to introduce themselves and mention what kind of book we were working on and the title if any. When it was my turn I nervously shared that a friend of mine wanted to collaborate on a book on stories of solo parents but the book I was really working on for over a month now is about my own ups and downs as a solo mom with the working title as "How to Turn Your Rock Bottom into Your Launching Pad" which was inspired by J.K. Rowling's account of her life as a solo mom. Saw the approving nods around the room and also from Ardy and I felt a little confident. Now there's no chickening out anymore and procrastinating with the public admission of my attempt as an author!

The program was a powerhouse line up of best-selling authors like Samantha Sotto (Before Ever After), Larry Gamboa (Think Rich Pinoy), RJ Ledesma (Lies My Yaya Should Have Told Me, among others), multi-C. Palanca awardee Grace D. Chong (Gifts of Grace among others) and Charles Tan of Flipside, the country's pioneer in digital publishing. With the exception of RJ, all the speakers didn't have writing backgrounds before their first books, only the relentless passion to tell their stories and that alone revived my determination to share my message out there. I was especially inspired by Sam Sotto who used the 3 hours of waiting for her son's dismissal from preschool to write Before Ever After and by Larry Gamboa who has amplified the success of Think Rich Pinoy with internet marketing, speaking engagements and mentoring. 


I got really excited to hear that Larry is also a fan of Brendon Burchard of Experts Academy since Brendon was the one who inspired me to put up a website dedicated to the financial, emotional and spiritual health of solo parents and their children. Mustering up enough courage, I approached Larry after the seminar and told him of my book and the website I was putting up which was a result of the video challenge of Brendon Burchard awarding a scholarship at Experts Academy to anyone who will submit a video on 5 things to help improve people's lives. Getting tongue-tied, I gave up on the video and turned it into a book instead but after a month, all I had was a 20% book and a website that's still under construction and I didn't know where to go from there. Larry advised that I should start on the book first so that it would be come the content basis of the website and he even urged me to finish that video and e-mail it to him!  Whew, now there's another thing I can't chicken out of, with a challenge from Mr. Larry Gamboa himself :)


All in all, it was such a heartwarming experience. It felt like I belonged and was really meant to be there on that day: meeting Anna and coming up with future activities for solo parents, getting RJ to sign a book for my son who is a big fan, soliciting valuable (and free!) advise from Larry and learning from these superstar authors whose humble beginnings are no different from any of us. 


Can't wait to be a part of Ardy's mentoring program. Keep up the good work and may Salt and Light Ventures continue to be blessed so you may bless more people!

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Aching

Mommy and me at 2 months old

"No amount of money could ever account for not having a mother."~ Drop Dead Diva


Was watching a marathon of one of my favorite series Drop Dead Diva and saw the episode where Deb reincarnated as Jane faces her mom who's filing for a divorce from her dad and I found myself crying, with that ache in my heart feeling like becoming fresh again. 

I miss my Mom. I've missed her every single day from the day she passed away a day after 9-11 in 2001. A few years ago in a Facebook application where you're asked to reveal 25 things people don't know about you, I listed there that I cried everyday for my Mom for 5 straight years. A lot of people got surprised of that revelation, especially to my own family. No one close to me knew how deeply I was still mourning for my Mom even after so many years. 


One day I was hearing mass and the priest said in his Homily that mourning is normal but mourning for more than a year is an insult to God because it signifies lack of faith. I felt guilty. Now I wasn't only hurting because of my grief, I was hurting doubly because I never even realized my faith was in crisis!



But how do you get over losing the one person who made everything alright? Someone who sacrificed everything for you and yet never complained? One who loved you unconditionally in the truest, most genuine sense of the word? Today, as I was watching that episode, it suddenly dawned on me. Aching this much over someone you truly love and someone who loved you as much or possibly more could not be wrong. I mean isn't that the way God ached for us? So much so that He gave up His only Son? And isn't that the way we should long for Jesus in our life? I learned from the Makati Feast that we should long for Christ like we thirst for water or gasp for air. 


So all this aching and mourning could not be wrong if it is meant to always remember how the person we long and hurt for once cherished and cared for us; if every tear reminds us that we were and are utterly loved. Besides, I don't mind the tears because of The Father's promise: 

"When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you. One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes. And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth."

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