Christmas Won't Be The Same

Saw Asti's nanny putting up the Christmas Tree at the living room yesterday. A few moments later, I found myself just blankly staring at the tree and something started to ache inside me. I just realized that I haven't been excited about Christmas for a long time... actually, ever since my Mom passed away. 

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Wisdom Wednesday Quote for the Week

Have you ever received an unsolicited advice about your parenting? I think that's one of my major pet peeves! I mean I'm not saying I'm a perfect mom and that I don't seek advice from other people especially from friends and family whose opinion I value very much. 

It's just that there are instances which could really get on your nerves when some people, thinking they mean well, would blurt out "you should do this," or "it's better if you...". What 's even worse than unsolicited parenting advice is when people forget that you're the parent and take over decision-making for your kids without your permission! 

That's why I thought of the quote above. In the end, what really matters to me is the opinion of my son. After all, he's the one I'm parenting here, and not those people who don't even understand the relationship between me and Marti. 

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A New Path

https://www.flickr.com/photos/15636379@N00/8026026425

Wow, haven't been here in awhile... almost a year! But it's only because I have been led to a new path. A path that used to be elusive but is now in view and as clear as a summer's day. A path that led to Angelo.

Yes, after 14 years I am now in a new relationship and it's with someone I least expected. You see I've known Angelo for over 25 years. He was my classmate in Grade 4 at St. Paul Makati. I couldn't even recall if we spoke during those times but after our grade school reunion in 2008, we became good friends. We only saw each other a few times since then but kept in touch through emails, text messages and social networks especially during tough times which we as single parents almost always had. I was just happy to offer advice to him and even invited him to MaSiPaG. But by 2013, our friendship unexpectedly changed into something more. And the rest, should I say, is history. 

I would like to share something I wrote at that time when I was discerning about whether or not to go into a relationship with Angelo. I hope it would somehow inspire and give hope especially to single parents who have been hurt or are still in pain. Believe that the Lord is planning something phenomenal that would turn your tears and pain to laughter and love!

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The Gardener

On my 8th day of Oprah & Deepak's 21-day Meditation Challenge, was asked to write an honest letter to myself as a reflection for the day and wanted to share here that same letter. 

As instructed in the exercises, we were asked to just write anything that came into mind fresh from the meditation and was so surprised by how inspiring and heartwarming the letter was. Believe it was the message that God has been trying to make me understand these past few weeks. And, once again, it is GRACE.

Dear Milli,

I just want you to know that it is not your fault, that you have made the perfect choice (because it is YOUR choice), that it is OK that you have not had a romantic relationship in almost a decade. You never closed yourself up to possibilities; you have always been open, understanding, loving, beautiful, passionate but it's just that the wrong men came your way and the right one has yet to find you. Do you know that God has been pruning you all this time? You were never dry or wasting away or withering. In fact, you have always been blooming but in the shade because The Gardener thought it best to take care of you, nurture you without showing you off first in the garden. You are one of those rare and delicate creatures that needed a different kind of watering, fertilizing and sheltering but you just wait and see. Your season is almost here and He would soon take you out in the garden, replant you in the rich earth and let your beauty bask in the warmth of the sun.  

You're almost ready, Milli. Hold on there and He will soon finish His work in you. And soon enough the Gardener will open the doors, invite Mr. Right into the garden to show and share with him His precious and beloved masterpiece that is you.

If you are on a journey to spiritual maturity or want to relieve stress, I encourage you to add meditation to your prayer time. It is through here that I learned to be quiet and still and listen to the Lord's voice. It is a marvelous experience to be caressed by the Love and Grace of the Lord and these moments often occur in our silence. 

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What Brand Are You?

 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/goincase

This article was previously published at the Makati Feast Glorietta Bulletin last June 16, 2013.

Disgrasiyada. Immoral. Hiwalay. Sinner.

Believe it or not, these social stigmas are still being attached to single parents today. I don’t know if it’s just plain luck but in my 13 years as a single mom, I have yet to meet someone who would scoff at me and brand me with those words.

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Running on Empty

http://www.flickr.com/photos/pattista

A few weeks back, I got a PM via Facebook from a school friend whom I haven't seen since we graduated years ago (won't say here what year to protect her identity. And my age...LOL). She asked how I was coping with the loneliness that comes from being a single mom, since she was one herself.


The first thing that came into my mind was "I was?" Well, of course she only knew of the Milli who posted usually positive, grateful and inspirational messages on my wall but not the person who lately cries herself to sleep, staring at the empty space on the other half of my bed and wondering about the basketball team that should have been my children--- a dream I've had since I was a little girl growing up with only one sibling. Of course, the trooper that I was, I shared with her how through prayer, renewal of Faith and having a support group helps a lot. I felt like a hack. 

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An Open Letter to Angelina Jolie, The Bravest Mom I Have Ever Known

Dear Angie,

I don't even know if you will ever read this letter but I'm writing it anyway, even if it's just to console the sobbing mess that I am upon reading your revelation in The New York Times about your preventative double mastectomy.

Your courageous decision touched my heart so deeply, as I felt it was made not out of vanity, rather for your children and hopefully for their children. Indeed a mother's love knows no bounds and your choice is a living testament to that. 

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